Meetings (1)

Attended a meeting the other day. It felt as though no one understood each other, but they were unaware of it. Everyone assumed that everyone understood each other. I remember someone saying "to assume is make an ass out of u and me". You might as well term this meeting as an "assuming meeting". And I almost felt like ass that day, though I never know how being an ass feels like.

In the midst of a meeting as such, there's always someone who further confuses the situation. He goes a big round in explaining a potential risk or problem, causing loud discussions and resulting in time wasting. After several awkward moments of silence, he comes out with the solution to the problem. Then everyone stands (or sits) in awe and amusement, forgetting that very solution was in place before the mentioning of the problem. I rarely get carried away, because I can't see the problem right from the start. That's the advantage of ignorance, I suppose... hehe.

On other meetings, there will be a group of people who will indulge on unnecessary topics. Someone tells a joke, then the group silently elaborates on it. Once they hit a high, they would laugh out loud for everyone to hear. I don't know how you react or feel towards this situation, but this bothers me in two different ways. First, when I'm the chairman of the meeting a
nd this happens, it shows how lousy a leader I am that people don't respect me enough. I've learned over the years that there's no one to blame except myself for this. Secondly, I didn't get to be in the group. That makes me uncool, overly serious, and strict. I can't lighten up, relax, enjoy the moment, laugh out loud, be young and free... I want to be cool, I want to be the funny one, I want to be able to enjoy myself at the expense of others too.

I use to be able to do those things, but not anymore. Sometimes I really miss those times. Sometimes... I suppose there are times where one desires to be "carefree" and "innocent" again. But the word 'freedom' has misused and misinterpreted anyway. Freedom, as I know it now, is the ability to break free of the bad habits and live right, for the good of self and others. Wisdom came along with maturity; maturity never forgets to bring along responsibility. But the thing that really drives me is my passion and desire. I take myself seriously, I take my job seriously, I take the discussion topic seriously... Sometimes I get overly serious that I offend people. I'm still trying to get the balance lah... just like everyone else. So in the mean time, I'm looking in the mirror and checking myself.