Vlog - April 24, 2007

This is Simon

Simon likes to listen to music at work. Unfortunately for him, his headphone is broken. Rumour has it that he was singing along with Westlife and the supervisor smacked him, resulting in the damaged headphones. But Simon is sticking to his story that "it just broke"...



To ensure equal damage to both ears, Simon switches sides. Simon is smart.



He seems happy with the situation, and did not even bother to buy a new headphone during the recent PC fair. But today I used his laptop and found this picture was on this desktop.

I think Simon is feeling sad...

Can You Solve This Math Question?

I'm calling upon the power of unity of the BLOGSPHERE. I can't do this on my own. It may seem petty to some of you, but my god, if we can't unite together and solve small issues, how can we fight the enemy (whoever that is XD)??

If you manage to solve this question, please email me at joashchan@gmail.com. Thank you.

3 Cheers for Kukujiao!!

Earl Ku of kukujiao.com recently celebrated a milestone of 600 posts on his blog. I was privileged enough to guestblog and contributed 3 posts...

1. I don't want MORE anymore.
2. Reflection of a guest blogger.
3. Cicakman in action.

On his 601 st post, he revealed some stats and surprisingly, this blogpost of mine is currently the 4th most viewed post on kukujiao!! 6800 views to be exact. I read it again & found nothing interesting or extra special about that post. So I figure that it must be some mistake. But nonetheless, I'll take it!! HAHAHA...

Oh by the way, this post got 409 views and this one got 415 views.

Screwed.

1 of my dreams is to form a production group like The Oral Stage. I've always believed in the power of drama & the arts. Before the video camera came into my life, dramas / short plays / skits have always been a part of my life. Perhaps time isn't as much as it used to be. I don't know how far away I am from fulfilling that dream. Seems like it's been forever since the last time my friends and I did a live performance. Movie making is kinda my thing now, but I can't forget where I came from.

The existence of The Oral Stage makes me happy. I can't really explain why (maybe you can). But sometimes I wish I could join them. Sometimes. I haven't bought the tickets for Screwed yet, but I pretty sure I'm going for it. Really want to see how good they are.

The Kuala Lumpur Performing Arts Centre (KLPac)
Sentul Park, Jalan Strachan 51100 Kuala Lumpur
April 19th – 22nd 2007 @ 8.30 pm
with additional shows on April 21st – 22nd 2007 @ 3.00 pm

The Oral Stage enters its fourth season with an all-new line-up of original
shorts and monologues, a contemporary take on the timeless issues of
identity, gender, relationships, meaning and purpose. Screwed
reinforces the fact that being human is nothing short of being screwed, after all.

Hmm, I'm interested in seeing how they will reinforce that statement which they believe to be a fact.

Oh, I saw a video on their website and it's really nice. Respect to whoever that editted the video. Check it out.

What Do You Think Of This Picture?

I've been using this picture on msn for quite some time now. And I have received 4 different responses from 4 different individuals.

1 said it's motivating. Looking at the picture caused her to be motivated towards pursuing her dream. Another said it's quite funny & cute. Another said she felt like punching me, because it looks like I want to punch someone. The last response just came in today, while conversing with my cousin sister in Singapore...

Yan Ling: dont u have a nicer pic?
Joash: you don't like this picture
Yan Ling:no...u look like u trying to shit but e shit cant come out...

That's my cousin's opinion. What do you think?

The Finger-Giving Laptops.

As I type right now, 3 of my colleagues have got their laptops. 2 of them are given 2 brand new laptops. The other got a second-hand laptop, but I believe it's still much better than this shit I'm typing on right now.

My colleagues have misunderstood me and my intentions. They think I'm bickering and complaining over a small matter. They think I want a new laptop. I don't need a new laptop. All I need is something that is functioning fine. Something that doesn't give me the finger & cause Word to crash. It doesn't matter how old it is. I just want a machine that works perfectly.

When I first started off in this company, I was given a desktop to work with. Even then, it was the lousiest machine in the office. But I had no complains. I could perform my duties with it. Then I started to attend more and more meetings & I had to travel around too, so they felt that I should carry a laptop around. Perhaps they wanted to minimize my errors in the minutes. The first laptop they let me used was a 4th-hand laptop. Occasionally the screen would go crazy & of course there's the blue screens. But I still had the desktop, so all was still good.

Eventually my laptop's screen went totally nuts. But believe it or not, I could still it. If I manage to adjust it perfectly, the screen would be normal again. Other times, I would just hook up a monitor. Of course, by then I stopped talking the laptop into meetings. Otherwise I would have to carry a separate monitor around.

I don't know how long it took, but they finally decided to give me a new laptop. Not as in NEW new - just a different laptop, one that hasn't gone completely crazy. This one has a completely different set of problems, just that no one wanted to be honest about it. On average, the laptop gives me the finger once a day. It comes without warning. So I've learned to press Ctrl + S every other minute. And on every other day, the mouse cursor flies around on its own accord - I would have no control over it. I forced myself to learn to work without the mouse, but dang, this just ain't right.

I've been having this laptop for about a year now. I've complained about it ever since I got it. Lately my manager finally promised me a brand new laptop. The laptop took ages to finally arrive at our office, and it was immediately snapped up by the boss, or so they told me. They also told me that the boss' laptop was less than a year old, so it should be working fine. But still I'm working on this shitty thing. WHY? Because my boss didn't come into the office for the next few days, so the transfer / exchange could not be performed. Then this colleague of mine fell ill & has to be on medical leave for 2 weeks. Talk about a series of unfortunate events. During this entire period my laptop's performance has become shittier and shittier by the day.

Now it's 6pm in the evening, the end of another working day. I'm hoping that my colleague would be back & I would be getting another old laptop that has no detects & doesn't give me the finger. Or else...

Bird Shit.

I like trees. I like birds too. But I don't like trees that attract birds who shit on people as they have lunch.

There are 3 places I know that has that deadly combination. And they so happen to be the places that I frequent most. My office, my church, and May's place. Every evening I leave the office in terror. It's like I'm passing through a battlefield, in the line of fire. Literally, I can hear drops of droppings hitting the ground. On occasions the droppings would fall 2 inches away from my feet, as though the birds are teasing me.

Sometimes in the morning I would buy nasi lemak before going up to the office. And the fragrance of nasi lemak won't be the first thing enters into my nose - it'll be the bird droppings. It's all over the floor!! In fact, most times I can't smell nasi lemak at all. I think I'm immune to bird flu.

So you can imagine how much I hate these birds and the trees that attract them. But I don't think this will solve anything.

Before this they just scare the birds away with gun shots. Now they literally kill them.

I don't like this approach of problem solving for several reasons.

1. This is not a hunting zone. There are cars & people walking around these places. People might get hurt - by a bullet or a falling bird.
2. This is a short-term solution. Animals don't leave because they are hunted. They leave when they lose their habitation. They didn't come here because it's a nice place to shit. They're here because of the trees planted here!!
3. The noise - gosh it's so darn annoying. And they just HAVE to do it during rush hour, when everyone's tired after a long day.

I have a video showing one of these dudes swinging a bird (not sure if it's dead or alive), throwing it up in the air, & let it fall on the ground. Hope I can show it to you soon.

Really, I can't believe that they can't figure out why the birds like to hang out in these places. A little scientific research would help them get to the root of the problem & find a win-win situation for us all. Just get those UNI students to perform that research, I'm sure they are more than capable. Find these birds a place where they can be free to fly, hang out, and shit. Hell, if you're good enough, you can even toilet-train them. Then plant trees that would not attract these birds, so that we won't have to eat & walk in fear of bird droppings.

When Boredom Fills The Soul

And I mean complete and utter boredom... this is the story for you. This is the video that you need to watch. It's a 10-minute long video, so you'll have to wait for it to completely load. But you're bored, so it's alright. If you're not bored now, bookmark it for next time. I assure you it's something that you won't regret.

You have been warned. If you're looking for quick fun & excitement, then this will hurt you. PRESS PLAY ONLY IF YOU'RE IN COMPLETE AND UTTER BOREDOM. Thank you. This has been a community service announcement by MalaysianLah.

So are you ready? If you are, then click here. Enjoy.

I MISSED IT!! NO!!!

ARGHHHH!! I just can't believe it. How could I have missed this?!

"The goal is to post a video every day of the week. If you want an extra challenge, pick a theme, limit yourself, or make a different style"

- Videobloggingweek2007.

I blame it on my lousy, virus-infected, 7-year-old laptop. Make no mistake, I intend to do it. When I get a new laptop or when my house gets that internet connection, whichever comes first. It might be late, but I'll do it anyway. It'll be called joashvideobloggingweek2007. How's that?

Most Entertaining Pick Up Line EVER!!

Was reading someone's Friendster blog, and thought that it would make a good laugh.

Did you see it? Watch closely...




ZOOM!!




Now imagine a guy approaching you and say...

"Erm... I know we've only known each other for a short time. But I think it's time for me to ask you this... CAN YOU DO MY GIRLFRIEND?"

"Take my heart and do my girlfriend, can?"

Awesome picture (aka doodle) courtesy of Phoebe. THANKS!!

Camera Trouble

Lately I've been having difficulty uploading my video recordings onto my PC. I don't really know what's wrong. It could be the firewire, the capture card, or even the video camera itself...

Saturday night I decided that it was probably right to reformat the PC, considering that I still have that Trojan virus in there (I don't know how to get rid of it!!). A family were our guests that night & stayed in my house, so my PC has been in the living room ever since. It's quite a nice arrangement actually. Now while working late, I can also enjoy watching footbal on Astro...

Reformatting was completed, but still I couldn't upload my videos. I was ready to depart with my video camera for about a month, should it require repairs. It's quite sad, but already I have a lot of raw clips that are left undone. So perhaps it was reminder to stop recording anything until I've managed to clear everything that I've committed to do (currently I have 2 documentaries to complete).

So the next step was to find that darn warranty card... Took me 2 days. May was so convinced that I was keeping it, while I find it highly unlikely that she would let me keep something so important. I mean, she even keeps my KFC voucher... but she was right this time. I found it in a drawer of a table that was once mine, now used by my dad. I was overjoyed.

In the midst of trying to upload the videos, I discovered 2 things (i'm such an idiot!!). 1, is that I can directly recording video into my PC. Ok I knew such technology exist, but I never tried doing it myself. Anyway, this opens up a lot of opportunities for me!! Now I don't have to waste tape while recording stuff in my room. And I believe I'll also be able to record PICTIONARY sessions!! YES!!

Another discovery was that I didn't have to use firewire to upload my videos - a mindset which was passed down to me by the dude who taught it all to me. I was just trying out the USB and it actually works!! I suspect the video quality might be lesser, but it'll do for now lah.

Now the other thing is to get that new laptop, so that I can upload my videos online... That's a whole different situation.

We're going to die!! (What's a BullHead?)

Cely's blog was the first blog I visited today, and to my shock I saw this...

A horrifying thought came to my mind. The blogging world as we know it's going to end. Soon all blogs in the world will be hacked. Or maybe just the famous ones. And all that's left would be emo people blogging about how their toothbrush fell into the toilet bowl twice that morning. Or the only blog that Malaysians can access would be the camwhoring site for government servants, blogging about pictures taken at the mamak session at 11am. I immediately notified Cely via googletalk.

In the meantime, I was talking to Earl on the other side... I haven't been online for the past 3 days, so I could have missed some happenings. And you know that you can always count on kukujiao...

I would like to think that I wasn't fooled, but I didn't call her bluff. Monday mornings ain't too suitable for hardcore investigation... stuff... (gosh I can't even find a nice word for that!!), so I just asked around...

I have yet to click on the skull... and I don't intend to.

Now someone please tell me what's a bullhead...